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Our heroes, under the temporary leadership of their legal advisor half-orc, half-ogre friend, were nearing the top of the rope ladder that led to the entrance of the municipal offices and courthouse of the Capicombital.
Eric, who was afraid of heights (and lows, and darkness, and light), climbed with his eyes closed.
“Are we almost there?” he asked.
“We certainly will be soon!” Schreck called back down.
Just then, a gruff but jovial cowboy voice called out.
“Sir, I say, sir. I do declare that that voice there belongs to the one and only Gregory Schreck, Orctorney at Law.”
As the group looked up —except for Eric— they saw a moustachioed figure, either a Mightee or Tightee (it was hard to tell), calling down to them. A big star on his chest glistened in the light. If they were closer, they’d be able to read, "Mightee Marshall: The Sheriff of these here parts."
Chapter 20: Vertical Visit
If you want to know more about something mentioned in the story (e.g. a creature, place or person) go to the Lore of the Land:
If you want information about our hero’s characteristics and inventory at the start of this chapter go here and scroll to the relevant chapter:
The group reached the top and clambered through the upside-down doorway. Thankfully, the low ceilings meant they weren’t too far from the law enforcer above.
“My newfound friends, let me introduce you to Mightee Marshall,” Gregory said, gesturing to the man who was magnetically sealed to the ceiling. “He’s a police officer, an all-around good guy, and makes a darn good peach cobbler, let me tell you.”
Tim looked up in amazement; it was the first time any of the troupe had seen the amazing magnetic boot technology that afforded the Tightees their lofty positions in high society.
“Put ‘er there, pardner!” the elevated and upside-down sheriff called out, extending a hand but not nearly far enough to obtain a handshake. “Consarn it! I hate these flibbertygibbits!”
Mightee Marshall reached down —or up, as it were— and pulled hard on his legs, causing his feet to slide out from the magnetic boots and sending the lil’ law enforcer bouncing off the ground. The whole party saw that his feet were still encased in cowboy boots with an elaborate gemstone pattern stitched into them. The key feature? A pair of spiky spurs hooked to the back with steel frames.
“As I was sayin', put ‘er there!” he said, this time ably shaking the hands of all the ceiling-traversing friends.
“Couldn’t help but notice your fancy footwear,” Tim pointed with one hand up to the still-magnetized boots above them and one down to the spurred heels before them.
“Yeah, double-booted! Quite the fashion statement,” Matilda added with interest.
“Yessirree! Can’t ever take off my ropers, no way, no how!” the Sheriff said with great enthusiasm before asking, “Say, who are these city folks anyhow, Gregory?”
“Some adventurers I picked up along the way. Let me introduce you to Tim Cognito, Matilda, and Eric,” Schreck said, giving a little bow as he indicated with his arm.
Socrates jumped out from Tim’s faceplate and angrily squeaked.
“Oh, and of course, wise lil’ Socrates,” Gregory added before suddenly furrowing his brow and getting mighty serious. “Anyway, you know I’ve been going over the numbers of the case, and I think…”
“Stop counting beans and start spilling them!” Tim interrupted with a pointed finger. “That’s enough chatter. What made the town hall clatter?”
“Oh, that?” Mightee Marshall said, spitting loudly into a nearby spittoon that no one had noticed until now. “I’ve got my suspicions.”
“Do you think it’s related to the case?” Schreck queried.
“Do you think we’re in an elevated state of danger?” Eric asked.
“Yessum,” he said to Schreck before turning his eyes to Eric and nodding, “and yessum, but you just stay close to me, little man. Me and my shiny spurs will keep you safe.”
He nodded with a wink, and both his eyes and spurs seemed to sparkle at once, making Eric blush.
“But to answer the question in more detail, I know who did it.” His voice dropped to a whisper as his eyes shifted from end to end of the room, and he patted his polka-dotted chest pocket. “I can’t talk about it here, but I have secured some evidence that’s going to blow the lid off this case.”
Just then, a door opened from the other side of the lobby. Walking on magnetized boots along the ceiling was the hoity-toity Tightee the party had seen leaning out the window earlier, still clutching a martini glass, which despite being upside-down was not spilling. Following closely behind was an orc that looked significantly angrier and less down-home charming than Schreck. He wore an ill-fitted suit and carried a club with a nail in it. Finally, behind the two of them was a large rock creature that wore a bow on its head.
“Ugh,” Schreck exhaled, “It’s Baron Von Claspen and his hotshot legal team!”
“Only the mayor of Capicombital would be so foolish as to hire a dumb orc as their chief counsel,” Mightee Marshall said before catching himself. “Oh, sorry, Schreck, no harsh feelings.”
“Let’s not forget that I’m only half-orc,” Gregory said. “My objections don’t usually come in the form of a clobber on the head and a series of grunts.”
“And how about Madame Insediment? What a traitor. First taste of money, and she’s tied to his hip,” Marshall said. “Look, if we’re going to talk, we’ll have to move into the Quartz Room.”
Matilda thought she misheard. “Don’t you mean courtroom?” she asked.
“No, ma’am, you heard right the first time,” the Sheriff said. “You take ‘em through, Gregory. I’ve got one more thing I need to fetch from my office.”
“Alrighty then,” Schreck said to the man as he tried to jump up and grab his magnetic boots, “we’ll see you there soon. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Pleasure to meet you,” Eric said.
“Oh, one more thing,” the little sheriff said, turning back to face them. “I know you folks are bold adventurers, so you’ve probably got all kinds of magic weapons and mystical objects with you.”
“You betcha, we’ve got tons of booty!” Tim said, indicating with their hands the vast amount of loot they’d picked up.
“Well, that’s a problem. You see, the detectors in the Quartz Room will see you as a threat…” Marshall began.
“That’s fine. I like to bend the rules. I’m a bit of a rebel, you know?” Tim interjected.
“… and vaporise all of you instantly,” Marshall finished. “So it would be good if you just hand those over to me for now, and I’ll return them later.”
Tim’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“Don’t worry, he’s on the level. No one’s moral compass has a steadier needle,” Schreck leaned in closer to tell Tim.
“Well, alright then, but just so you know, there’s a… uhhh… theft detector on these that will… umm… vaporize you if you take them!” the knight fumbled.
“How creative,” Matilda said, rolling her eyes.
“You got him!” Eric added.
Tim and Matilda first passed over their harpoon and pitchfork, then the knight started emptying their innards by pulling items out one at a time from their mouth. First, the communication crystal, which they handed over to the sheriff while commenting, “If some little goblin comes back with a message from this, don’t listen—it’s private!” Following this, Tim plunged their arm back down their mouth.
This time, Tim pulled out their lunchbox, which was like a miniature treasure chest with decorative clocks on it. “I suppose you don’t need this,” they said, “it’s just my lunch!” Upon saying this, a tiny wizard strolled over from the corner of the room and stood directly above Tim on the ceiling. A strange green smoke emerged from her hands and surrounded the box. After some seconds of thunder and lightning inside the tiny cloud, the cloud went red and made a sound like a quiz show answer being declared wrong.
“I’m sorry, but this is clearly a magical item,” the wizard said, pointing at the box. “That will need to be surrendered too.”
“News to me!” Tim said, tossing it in the Sheriff’s direction. “Well, that just leaves… this!”
Tim pulled out the large stinky gem that the Spaghettians gifted to the knight after saving their village. As soon as it was removed from their faceplate, Schreck’s entire face screwed up, his fangs became more pronounced, and he let out a banshee hiss and ran to the other end of the room.
“What’s going on? It doesn’t smell that bad,” Tim passed the gem to Mightee Marshall and said. “I guess you’d better get that out of here.”
“Point taken,” Marshall said, looking a bit concerned for his friend. “Can you go check on him? I’ve really got to get to that office.”
The further the Sheriff went from them, the more composure was gained by their lawyer friend. Once he had left the room, Gregory was looking more and more like himself though he sat .
As they approached him, they realized Schreck was breathing heavily. Between these heavy gasps, he let out a burning question.
“Where… did… you… get that?”
“It was a reward for saving our village!” Eric said.
“A finely cut gem for Tim. What is it?” Matilda asked, concern in every syllable.
“That—that’s been lost for centuries… the key to the Ogre Kingdom,” Gregory said, tears falling from his eyes. “We can all finally go home!”
“But then why did you react that way?” Matilda asked.
“When they locked the gates to the Kingdom eons ago, they cursed the key so that all ogres will be repelled by it.” By now, the lawyer had enough strength to stand up. “Someone must have been harboring a mighty big grudge.”
“But this means you can reopen the Kingdom? Isn’t that great?” Tim asked reaching a hand out to help Schreck up.
“Well… I can’t, but now someone can,” Schreck said before shaking his head and standing with more resolve. “But not until after this case has been solved. Just don’t bring that thing anywhere near me!”
Hmmm. That stinky gem is both wanted and despised by Schreck and his kind at least now the crew can finally advance to the quartz room.
Remember, if you want to be a part of the tale: you can pitch new areas, creatures, characters, and items/spells in the existing threads and see them get added to the Lore of the Land encyclopaedia.
Stay tuned for the next chapter in a fortnight.
It’s nice to be back again, there’s always something getting in the way. Life, love, laughs… other things that could be stitched onto a tea towel.
Don’t worry we’re not going to abandon Tim and their friends. We want to see where this goes as much as you.
Interactivity will return in a new exciting way in the next chapter. Prepare yourself!
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